avengers au → natasha is the american 007, pepper is both her Q and her love interest

yo gurl gimme some tony/tony ya' dig? O;

"Pepper, what do you think of this suit?"

Pepper sighed. It was one thing for Tony to disrupt her with work, but it was another thing entirely to have to sit on his bed and wait for him to go through a hundred costume changes before he was ready for whatever benefit supper they were attending.

"You have to come out of the closet," Pepper said. She was slowly trying to train Tony to try on less than 20 outfits. Making him walk a few extra feet hadn’t seemed to work as a deterrent just yet, but she was hopeful about its possibilities.

"I can’t come out of the closet, I’m straight," Tony said, for the hundredth time.

It still wasn’t funny. And probably not true, either. Pepper leaned back on her elbows. She already knew what she was going to wear. The red dress with the low back that made Tony bite his lip and act like a thirteen-year-old.

It was a pretty great dress.

"Still not laughing? Seriously, Potts, you know, I come up with a zinger like that, you’ve got to at least give me a half-hearted chuckle for my efforts."

Pepper heard the rustle of Tony adjusting his sleeves and gazing lovingly at himself in the mirror. “I did that the first time, Tony.”

"Well, fine. You could at least be remotely appreciative of my work ethic here. I mean, I have to compete with you, it’s a pretty hard bill to fulfil."

Pepper was under no delusions. Tony was the star of every show, whether he was wearing a white suit, a black suit, or the gold-titanium alloy suit that he spent more time and money on than anything else in the world. Every eye would be on him, no matter what he had on. “Just come out.”

Tony came out.

Pepper glared.

Tony flashed his white, white teeth. “What do you think?”

"No," Pepper said. "No, no, no!"

"What?" Tony asked, looking down at himself. "Is it too much?"

His suit was red. Red and gold.

"You know what I’m wearing, Tony! We can’t match!"

Tony tilted his head to the side like a puppy who just hadn’t considered the fact that Pepper would probably be wearing her most attractive and expensive dress to the Disney event. He blinked. “I hadn’t considered that possibility,” he said, running a finger down his immaculately trimmed beard. “Hm. This is a conundrum.”

conundrum. Pepper knew what a conundrum meant. A conundrum meant that Tony would wear his flashy red-and-gold-and-surprisingly-attractive suit to the event, and Pepper would wear something black and drab.

"I think you should probably wear the, the," Tony said, flapping a hand as he retreated into the closet. "The black one."

"I’ve had my outfit picked out for weeks, Tony!" Pepper shouted.


He was probably looking at himself again. Admiring his own physique from every angle. Thinking about he was a genius.

"I’m a genius, Potts! They’re all going to complement me on this. It looks just like my suit."

For crying out loud.

Pepper may as well have been dating two people who were dating each other for all of the headaches she got. She walked out of Tony’s room to pick up the black dress from her own closet. She’d had it dry cleaned just in case something happened, and then placed in the closet in the hall because there was no room in Tony’s closet, his giant, walk-in closet, for anything more than Tony’s clothes.

"It’s gonna be a hit, Potts! Just you wait and see!"

1 year ago on 15 May 2012 @ 7:21pm + 830 notes
via dirtyovercoats (originally veronicafitzosborne)
# ilu

I quit. I’m resigning. My body literally can’t handle the stress.