Mom: Happy Palestine Day!
Mom: Maharajah
Me: What? you mean Valentines day?
Mom: maharajah. thats what my phone writes when i try to make a laugh.
Me: bad blizzard… ride home?
Dad: try nutty banana
Me: ?
Dad: nutty banana blizzard of the month: pecans bananas and chocolaty bits blended with creamy vanilla soft serve
Dad: o you meant the weather
ME: Happy Valentimes Day!
DAD: No.
Me: Do you know that you have an automatic signature? After every text you send this appears: )o(
Dad: That’s an ice spider
ME: Some lady just came to my dorm and told me that I have been selected to join an honors society and congratulated me on my 3.25 gpa, but that is not true! Should i still fill out the forms???
MOM: yes, continue your life of lies.
Me: Mom, today is not your birthday…
Mom: It was a fake birthday to throw off identity thieves… It didn’t work too well. I have confused my friends!
MOM: help i think im in a mosh pit
Mom: can you get KRISTEN after school?
Me: why is her name in all caps still? you got a new phone
Mom: it’s for the sake of old times.
mom: Turtle emergency! Found upside down in the pond..taken to the hospital right away…will keep you informed!